Why is it so hard to keep my footing right sometimes? Things continue to seem out of control with no end in sight. Coming at me like the big barrels in Donkey Kong. I try to push the button to jump, but the button is no longer functional. The barrels roll right over me, but my peace of mind (rest and renewal) does not take effect, so I am just trying to pull myself forward by crawling sometimes face first in the dirt.
This overwhelming experience has happened to most of us and possibly more times than we care to admit or remember. However, the game starts without warning, and it is never something for which I can prepare myself. I can take the occasional barrel and keep fighting the good fight. Still, this particular round is way more than I could have imagined.
As we have moved through this overwhelming situation, the Covid pandemic, the other areas of my life are completely shaken up. It feels as if all peace has been removed from my everyday life. Nothing has been unaffected. Work-life balance has been wiped away, but never in a way I would have believed. It is not related to the virus or the quarantine. My personal and professional life have been both been stirred up at the same time, and I cannot find any kind of resolution or stability on which to focus.
I know in my heart that the Lord is in control and will provide, but my mind continues to push the boundaries of gaining personal control. And the patience I have for some things has been crushed by the endless barrels being hurled at me. It is like standing in quicksand, knowing that moving will only cause you to sink faster but being able to stop yourself. These situations have felt ridiculous because the struggle comes from every angle.
However, I must remember that I will trust God in each situation. I know he has a plan for me, even when it leads me through the wilderness. I am not walking alone, and I will find my way if I continue to listen to his voice guiding me.
Another thing I know is that I need to surround myself with love and community. The pandemic caused us to separate and stay close to home. After a while, it felt normal and safe, but we were never built to do life alone. We need physical connections, hugs, and genuinely feeling the presence of each other. Surrounding myself with that love and support is helping me to find my footing, and soon I will be able to start climbing again.
I hope you can see how important to lean on each other and take the time to listen to each other when we feel broken. It is part of what makes us human, especially when the world can seem so inhumane. Please let me know how you get through the challenging moments. Do you depend on more than yourself to get past the barrels of heartache, failure, disappointment, fear, micro-aggressions, etc.?